Life Is A Miracle, Speak Yet Again: Bring New Light To What Life Might Be


“Thy life is a miracle. Speak yet again.”

– Edgar speaking to the Earl of Gloucester in Shakespeare’s King Lear

Looking Back On 2013

On this the last day of 2013 what is it that I am present to?  Gratitude. What is it that I am grateful for?

How wondrous it is that I can see!  I got to see blue sky, white clouds, yellow sunshine, pinkish sunset….

How magical it is that I can hear!  Today, I found myself listening to my daughter call me “Papa”; I love the sound of “Papa” and have done so ever since my first child called me “Papa”.  Music, I found myself listening and moving to, and being moved by, the music coming through on the tablet.

How wondrous that I can speak! Yes, speak – communicate with my fellow human beings, express myself, ask for help, offer help, co-ordinate my actions with all whom I find myself in a dance with.

How miraculous that I can smell! One of the joys of starting the morning is smelling the various fragrances that go with the various soaps which I use when I shower in the morning.

How wonderful it is to find that everything works – that the fingers work, the arms work, the feet work, the legs work, the back works, the lungs work, the heart works ……….! What a gift is is to find myself fully able to take care of myself such that I do not rely on nor wait for anyone to take care of me?  What a gift it is to dance.

Looking Ahead to 2014

Yes, life is a miracle.  Let’s assume that the miracle continues and I am gifted an entrance into 2014. What is there to “Speak yet again”?  It occurs to me that what there is to speak is to speak a possibility.

“Bring new light to what life might be.” 

This is why you were born; that’s why you are here. To bring some new angle to the human condition – if not to the broader world in general, then at least to your family and the people around you…….

– Hugh MacLeod, Gaping Void

As I sit with “Bring new light to what life might be.” what shows up?  Kindness-Gentleness-Aliveness-Harmony.  It occurs to me that I moved by the possibility of being an opening for kindness-gentleness-harmony to show up in the world. It occurs to me that if I am gifted life in 2014 then I am up for speaking kindness, generosity, aliveness, and harmony in my way of being (showing up) in the world.

What is it that you are moved to speak in 2014? How can you bring new light to what life might be?

I Thank You and Wish You The Very Best for Xmas and 2014


Hello to each and everyone,

This is a personal message from me to you. What is there for me to say to you, at this special time of the year?

THANK YOU. I thank you for subscribing. I thank you for commenting. I thank you for encouraging me in my speaking. I thank you for sharing that which you find worth sharing via Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Please know that I am grateful for your listening; it is your listening that continues to call forth my speaking in this blog. Please know that I am grateful that you exist; your existence matters – for one it contributes to my existence.  If you were here and it was OK with you then I would look you in the eyes, say “Thank You!” and give you a hug. That is not the case. So what is it that I can share with you at this special time of the year?  Allow me to share with you an insight which shows up for me as being particularly relevant for this time of the year:

… it became crystal clear to me during the est training that at bottom, people love each other, if they’re given half a chance. Love is that is waiting to emerge when everything that is in the way of love is let go and cleared away….

…. love becomes obvious and present when fear , judgement and separation are dropped……

Because love, finally, in the end, is what everyone is craving. Not to be loved, but to be loving.

– Eliezer Sobel, The 99th Monkey

I thank you for your contribution and I wish you a great Xmas and the very best for 2014.  I wish you a meaningful-fulfilling life, a life full of connection, laughter and love. I invite you to contribute to a world that works for all, none excluded.

At your service / with my love

Maz

On Accomplishment and Sorrow


It occurs to me that:

– there is the way that the world is, and is not.

– there is the way that we say the world is, and is not.

– there is the way that we want the world to be, and not to be.

– the source of human accomplishment lies in our determination to reshape the world so that it better accords to the way that we want the world to be, and not to be; and

– the source of our sorrow lies in our desire and/or determination to have the world be the way we want the world to be, and not to be.

Do human accomplishment and sorrow go together?  Are they intertwined?  Is the price of accomplishment, sorrow?  And is sorrow also a driver of human accomplishment? It occurs to me that Buddhists have got to grips with sorrow at the price of accomplishment.

Everything That Shows Up Shows Up In Relationship; Everything Said is Said by Someone


In our default way of being in the world, in the West, we ascribe properties to objects. So without any conscious-deliberative thought, we say:

  • This rose is red;
  • This bag is heavy;
  • My husband-wife-partner is selfish;
  • My boss is harsh-selfish-demanding-stupid;
  • My work is boring;
  • The English are cold-unfriendly people;
  • The Americans are arrogant;
  • This food is delicious;
  • She has such an irritating voice ……

Let’s stop and ask ourselves the question, “Is what I take for granted really what is so?”  Let’s just consider the last assertion “She has such an irritating voice!”, as assertion made by a family member when she heard me listening to a podcast.

When I/you say “She has such an irritating voice!” what is it that I am sharing?  Am I pointing out an objective truth? Am I pointing out to the intrinsic ‘suchness’ of her voice?  It looks that way doesn’t it given that is our cultural practice: we stand aside from the world, looking at it as a scientist does, and describe the properties of the world – including the properties of people, of objects, of groups of people and objects. And in so doing we forget that it is i/you/we who are doing the describing!

It occurs to me that when I say “She has such an irritating voice!” I am not speaking an objective truth. Rather, I am pointing at and sharing my lived experience. If I were to describe this lived experience it would be something like this:

“In my state of being right now and the listening that automatically flows from my state of being, I find that her voice shows up as irritating. “

Do you notice the different between these two statements:

“She has such an irritating voice!” and

“In my state of being right now and the listening that automatically flows from my state of being, I find her voice shows up as irritating.”

Do you notice that the label ‘irritating voice’ points towards and highlights the flavour-tone-touch of  my relationship with her?  ‘Irritating voice’ is not a property of her. Her voice is simply her voice: it is neither melodious nor irritating.  Any irritation that shows me in me arises out of my relating with her voice. 

Summing up:

– man is being-in-the-world-with-others and as such always exist in relationship. Everything that shows up shows up in the space of relationship. There are no objects with intrinsic properties independent of others.  

– all descriptions, all labeling, all asserting is done by someone. Humberto Maturna is reported to have said “Everything said is said by someone”.  By this he meant that all acts of cognition-experience occur, are distinguished by, and spoken by someone.  This also means that “All that is heard is heard by someone.” 

– when you and I get that, really get that, then the space of transformation (in our relating to ourself, to others, to the world in which we dwell) opens up and is available for reinterpretation. Whether you and I step into that space is a choice that we can accept or decline.  

 

 

 

Nelson Mandela: A Master of Being?


I am not in a position to say anything about Nelson Mandela. Why? I didn’t know him at all, I simply know of him. What I notice is that a big deal is being made of his death. Why?

It occurs to me that Nelson Mandela embodied a certain way of being. A way of being that is uncommon in our age. What kind of being am I pointing at?   Being a stand for a possibility that speaks to many of us, a possibility that moves-touches-inspires many of us at the very deepest level:

“I think his main legacy will be instilling confidence among all people in South Africa, instilling the knowledge that people are equal, all people regardless of colour; that people can live in peace and harmony and love.”

-Fellow ANC political prisoner Ahmed Kathrada

Looking through is ‘work’ I find myself deeply touched by some of his saying. These I share with you for they may also call to you, touch you, and open up new possibilities and avenues. It occurs to me that if you and I are to generate value from these quotes then we have to live them not just read them.

“There is no passion to be found playing small–in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

“One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others.”

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy.”

“There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”

“It is what we make out of what we have, not what we are given, that separates one person from another.”

“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we led.”

“There is a universal respect and even admiration for those who are humble and simple by nature, and who have absolute confidence in all human beings irrespective of their social status.”

“One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen.”

“There are few misfortunes in this world that you cannot turn into a personal triumph if you have the iron will and the necessary skill.”

“A winner is a dreamer who never gives up”

Generating Workability, Unclenching The Grip of Illusion


I create the ‘unworkability’ that is present in my living. I create the misery that is present in my experience of living. I say that you do the same. And it occurs to me that collectively we create the unworkability-misery in our lives, our relationships, our families, our organisations, our communities, our tribes, our societies, our worlds…..

How do i-you-we create this ‘unworkability’?  It occurs me to me that we do so because we confuse-collapse ‘what is’ with what we ‘think it is’ and what we ‘want it to be’.  The real ‘wickedness’ is that you-i-we are not even present to collapsing-confusing ‘what is’ with ‘what we think it is’ and ‘what-how we want it to be’.

Allow me to illustrate our default condition of being-in-the-world by posing a simple question.  I ask you to be with, consider, and answer the following question: what is the sound of silence?

What is the sound of silence? Did you grapple with this question? Did you try out this question? Did you live the question?  Or did you simple find that a judgement-answer showed up for you automatically? Did you find yourself thinking “What a stupid question! Silence is silence, there is no sound!”

You and I are conditioned to approach this question and almost every other question through the avenues of  ‘what everyone knows’, ‘theory’, and/or ‘logic’.  What is the sound of silence?  Approached through the avenue of logic, the answer is there is no sound because logic defines silence as the complete absence of sound.  And common sense, ‘what everyone knows’, takes this for granted – it does not question.

What shows up if you question the taken for granted answer to this question?  What shows up if you live the question? What shows up if you actually put yourself in place where there is silence and listen?

If you live this question, experience it for yourself, you will find that there is a sound to the silence. If you live this long enough, several times, you might just find that the sound of silence can be different in different moments.

It occurs to me that now would be a great time-place to sit with this question: where else have I confused-collapsed ‘what is so’ with ‘what i-we think is so’ and/or ‘what i want to be so’?  It occurs to me that if i-you-we live this question then our lives would open up to new possibilities.  And we would get access to increasing the workability of our lives, our relationships, our organisations, our communities, our world.

Finally, remember that what truly counts (in human life) has to be experienced-created-lived first hand in order for i-you to know it as it truly is.  I want to share with you this quote with you:

“There are certain things you can only know by creating them for yourself.”

– Werner Erhard

What If We Lived From This Context: This Is IT & Every Moment Matters?


“The mind is inherently stubborn about change, and seems to snap back to its original position like an elastic band.

But there is catch: when we truly comprehend in our guts the finality and truth that THIS is IT, right now, no matter how our life is, then we grasp  what Werner Erhard was always screaming about:

that no magic pill or workshop or experience of any sort is ever going to come along and finally “fix” you or me or make us permanently happy, and in that very moment of giving up the search for transformation, a transformation paradoxically does in fact occur.

One recognises that one was never broken in the first place, and suddenly all the energy previously devoted to seeking a way out of or through the problem of the unfulfilled self is freed up to power one’s mission and vision, which is a gesture of giving and contribution rather than one of searching, waiting, and hoping.

And that is a good thing, if a bit sobering, because it means we are asked to step up to the plate in life with what and who we already are. We have been given our piece in the game, and it only remains to play wholeheartedly.”

– Eliezer Sobel, The 99th Monkey

Life Isn’t Working Out As I’d Like It To Work Out


Life isn’t working out as I’d like it to work out. The question that I am left with is this one, how to be about what is so?  I have been grappling with this (including some help from Gregory Bateson) and I want to share with you what showed up for me.

Lets imagine that I am at a disco and the DJ is playing all kinds of music: pop, soul, rock, disco, R&B, ska, country, jazz…… etc.  Further, let’s imagine I am at this disco to dance – to just dance. What is my experience if I insist that I will only get up and dance to say R&B music?  Is it not likely that I will spend most of my evening dissatisfied – sat in my chair, being dissatisfied with the music being played, complaining that the DJ has not taste, getting drunk ….

Now imagine that I have two normal dice in my hands. And I roll the dice. What shows up? Any combination: two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, or twelve.  Right?  That is simply what is so given the nature of the dice and the game that I am playing.

Given the design of the game, I know that if I play this game or find myself playing this game, I will end up with one of eleven outcomes. I know this beforehand. Yet, I cannot know nor determine what I will end up getting when I roll the dice.  Nor can I know what will show up if someone else rolls the dice for me.

two-dice-one-red-and-one-black-landed-on-double-six

What happens to my experience of living if I make my self-expression, happiness, aliveness, fulfilment, conditional on getting two sixes every time I throw the dice?

Have I not limited myself to being happy-fulfilled, on average, once every 11 throws of the dice? Have I not, at the very same time, condemned myself to the experience of dissatisfaction even misery for the other ten throws?  Have I not stacked the odds against myself?

What happens if I put myself in a position (through being and doing) where I am as expressed, as happy, as alive, as fulfilled, if I get an eleven as well as a twelve?  It occurs to me that I have doubled the occasions for experiencing being alive, being self-expressed, being happy, being fulfilled.

Now imagine that I have arrived at a place where I am ok with whatever the roll of the dice generates.  What is my experience of living in this case?  Is my experience not transformed?

Knowing this, I have a choice in the matter of how I choose to show up, live and thus experience my life.  I can choose to:

  • dance with whatever shows up and in dancing I can became a better dancer;
  • act on others and the world to get them to conform to my wishes – each and every day; and/or
  • resign myself to being self-expressed, alive, happy and fulfilled when life shows up exactly as I insist that it shows up.

Life Works If You Work With It


The story: what do you do when workability is compromised?

I was at my parents home – in the kitchen, cooking.  Just as I had finished cooking one of my brothers came into the kitchen to get some ice cream for his daughter. He opened up the freezer and struggled to take out the tray in which the ice cream rested. After pulling at it, this way and that, he managed to pull the tray out. That is when I noticed that something was ‘wrong’.  The tray was full of water that had turned to ice.  The ice was in the tray, on the sides of the tray, and underneath the tray.

After serving ice cream to his daughter, brother started to put the tray back into the freezer. I protested that the tray needed to be emptied of the ice. So I took out the frozen stuff, washed the tray with water thus unfreezing the ice, cleaned and dried the tray. Then I refilled it with the frozen food and gave it back to my brother.

He struggled to insert the tray back into the freezer. That was not surprising as the freezer compartment was all iced up.  Clearly a defrosting process had occurred in the freezer, water had formed, and then the water had turned to ice.  And this was jamming up all of the trays.  I noticed that one of the freezer trays was broken at the front, near the handle. I assumed that this had happened when someone had tried to get the tray out, was not able to (because of the ice), and had forced the tray out.

Standing there looking at the situation, it was clear to me that the integrity and workability of the freezer had been compromised. And what needed to be done was to defrost the freezer and thus restore the integrity-workability of the freezer.

What did my brother do?  He did what we human beings do when faced with a situation that requires work-effort and we are not up for putting in that work-effort. He found an instrument and start scraping off the softer ice from the freezer so that he could slide the tray back into the freezer.  Once he had done enough to slide the tray back into the freezer he stopped.

What is the lesson, the learning here?

It occurs to me that for many of us there is at least one significant aspect of our living that does not work well. That aspect of our living is stuck-jammed-unworkable in some important manner.  Just at the freezer is at my parents house.

Given that this is the case.  You and I can choose to do what it required to restore workability to that part of our living. The equivalent of defrosting the freezer, throwing away the food that defrosted and got frozen again, clean up the mess, and restoring the integrity and thus the workability of the freezer.

Or we can do what my brother did, do the minimum: deal with the symptoms and ignore the cause – the unworkability that gives rise to the symptoms. It occurs to me that if you and I choose to take the latter course, the short cut, and shirk that which needs to be done to restore workability to our lives then we can expect continued struggle in our lives.

It occurs to me that my life works when I work with it – when I work with the grain of life. It occurs to me that where I continue to struggle with life, it is highly likely that I am creating my struggle (my suffering) by working against the grain of life.

What Does It Take For Me To Understand You?


Let’s explore understanding. Let’s make this specific and explore what it takes for me to understand you.

The default: I understand you conceptually and instrumentally

It occurs to me that the default way of understanding is cognitive-conceptual-detached. Put more plainly, it is head stuff.  This is the kind of understanding that I am after when I ask, “Why did you do that?” This is the kind of understanding that leaves me feeling safe-satisfied when I have placed you into an existing category. A great example of this is Myers-Briggs typologies. This is the kind of understanding that shows up when I stand facing you, observing you. You and I are distant standing in different places. It is akin to the understanding that the scientist generates in the laboratory: the observer and the observed.

Having gone about understanding you in this manner, in what sense have I understood you?  Perhaps, a more insightful-pentrating question is this one, have I understood you at all? I assert that I have not understood you.  Now this would not be an issue (in the workability of my life, your life, our relationship) if I got (and you got) that this default mode of understanding you, leaves me not understanding you.  Yet, in life as lived, it does show up as an issue because I do NOT get that I can never understand you if I use this default mode of understanding you.

At best I understand you instrumentally.  Which is to say that I understand you like understanding a car – good enough to drive it. Understanding you instrumentally allows me to get along with you. And make use of you.

What does it take for me to really understand you?

Does understanding you require me to ‘walk in your shoes’? No, because I am not you and you are not me. Even if I walk in your shoes it is highly unlikely that that the world will show up for me as it shows up for you, and that I will experience that which you experience.

I say that it takes a certain kind of context for me to understand you.  What kind of context?  A context where you feel safe opening up and sharing yourself with me.  How do I generate that context? By showing up and relating-listening to you as a fellow human being who is whole-complete-perfect. It occurs to me that Carl Rogers called this ‘unconditional positive regard‘.  Whilst this is necessary, it is not enough.  Generous listening, deep curiosity, sufficient time, and patience are also required.

What kind of questions open up a space for me to understand you?  

It occurs to me that the following questions are pointers towards the right kind of questions:

  • How does this person-event-situation-world show up for you?  And how would you like it to show up for you?
  • How do you show up for yourself? And how would you like to show up for yourself?
  • What exactly is your experience (bodily sensations, moods, feelings, thoughts …..) of your life, your living? And what would you like your experience to be?
  • What kind of a future are you living into? How does the future show up for you?
  • What kind of future would you like to be living into?  What will it take for you to generate this future?
  • What are your dreams? What would you take on if money was no object, if you had absolute confidence in yourself?  Who would travel this path, take on this challenge with you?
  • What are you struggling with right now? How are you experiencing this struggle? Who is helping you face these struggles?
  • Which events-activities-persons in your life leave you most satisfied-fulfilled?
  • What message would you like your living to speak?
  • What legacy would you like to leave? For who?
  • What/who are you grateful for?

And finally

In being present to these questions, I get, vividly-experientially, that I do NOT understand you.  Being thus present, not deluded, I can choose to walk the path of genuine understanding or not.

So what does it take for me to understand you?  It takes genuine caring. It takes genuine-deep curiosity. It takes time and it takes effort. It takes giving me the notion that I already understand you. It takes giving me the notion that you are a static object – once understood, always understood. It takes a certain kind of generosity of being.

Why should I make the effort to generate this kind of understanding?  Connection. The access to genuine connection to you, is through this latter type of understanding.

“It is so because you consider it to be so”


Here in the UK, what we collectively agree as constituting “summer” has passed away. And what we agree upon and call “autumn” has arrived and is present. That is simply what is so. And this what is so can be measured in a number of way: the time of sunrise and sunset, the temperature, the amount of rain, the leaves on some trees turning from green to a yellow-red colour ….

The more interesting question, for me, is this one: what does autumn mean? Let me put the same question differently: how should I show up in relation to the arrival of autumn and the passing away of summer? Is it an occasion for rejoicing-dancing or is it an occasion for sadness and a longing for what has been lost?  Put more simply, is it good or bad, an opportunity or a setback, a blessing or a curse?

“It is so because you consider it to be so”

– Werner Erhard

I am clear that what is so is that autumn is present – nothing more and nothing less. Everything in relation to autumn being present it open to consideration – my consideration, your consideration.  Put more simply:

  • autumn is a time of opportunity and an occasion for rejoicing if I consider it to be so;
  • autumn is the time of loss and an occasion for lamenting all that has been lost with the passing away of summer if I consider this to be so;
  • autumn is ‘no big deal’ if that is what I consider it to be so.

How do I consider autumn to be ‘this and not that’?  I make autumn ‘this and not that’ by the story that I tell myself, and tell others. I can tell the story to myself in many ways. I can tell it through the thoughts I focus on, through the words that I speak to myself, and through what I do or do not do.

Let’s leave aside autumn and ask, what is it that I am pointing at here?  I am pointing out the following:

  • My life is as it is (great, wonderful, good, ok, awful) because I consider it to be so (great, wonderful, good, ok, awful);
  • The work that I do is as it is (good, an opportunity, bad, a dead end) because I consider to be so (good, bad, opportunity, dead end);
  • My wife is as she is (kind, beautiful, intelligent, selfish, ugly, stupid) because i consider her to be so (kind, selfish, beautiful, mean, intelligent, stupid);
  • Life is that which it is (an opportunity to take the road less travelled, or follow the path travelled by my kind) because I consider it to be so;
  • The Earth is that which it is (beautiful, to be taken care of, lived in harmony with, dominated, harvested, plundered, exploited) because I consider it to be so;
  • I am who I am because I consider myself to be ‘this who I am’.

When I get this, when I really get this, I get that I am the magician. With my consideration I get to shape my world. And at any moment I can reshape by world simply be reconsidering it.  How do I reconsider it? By choosing the stories I tell myself and others.  This telling (to be truly powerful) has to be in the living of my life.

The Power of Life Sentences And How to Break Free


In this post, I continue sharing more insights and distinctions from Lynne Twist in her book The Soul of Money. Having shared the three toxic myths, Lynne goes on to say:

“Life Sentences” Limit Our Possibilities

In any culture, myths communicate moral lessons, and scarcity myths have produced a legacy of beliefs –  “life sentences” – that we embrace as folk wisdom or personal truth”

Let’s explore the distinction “life sentence”

Are you wondering what Lynne is pointing at here? Consider the human species. Consider, that one can carve up the human species into “male” and “female”.  That is simple what is so: some members of the human species are male and others are female. Now ask yourself what it is to be “masculine” and/or “feminine”.

Consider, that what constitutes being (showing up as) “masculine” and “feminine” differs from one culture to another, and from one epoch to another.  What our culture gives as “masculine” and “feminine” rules some ways of being in and others out. To be masculine in the USA is to be a specific way. To be feminine in the USA is to be a specific way. That is the sentence imposed by the American culture on all those who are born and/or live into-within that culture.

Consider, that this life sentences shapes how young children – male and female – are brought up and shaped: by their parents, by their family, by their teachers, by their friends, by the media and eventually by themselves. Which explains the acute discomfort and vulnerability experienced by those who do not live up to this life sentence. Consider, for example, what it takes to openly show up as homosexual in the American workplace.

Perhaps the best pithy example of a life sentence is illustrated by Lynne Twist:

When I was a child my grandmother used to say ….. “Marry the money and love will come later.” We used to laugh ……… to tell the truth, she believed it……. When she married around 1990, she married the wealthiest man she could find and then found a way to love him.

Let’s get present to the power of life sentences

Think about the taken for granted cultural practice of foot binding in China. The impact of this life sentence was not limited to just severely deformed feet. This is what I found on the internet:

The binding of feet was said to be an indicator of Chinese class and a symbol of beauty, but through time, ended up becoming a tradition, lasting over a thousand years and affecting all women in every society leading to one billion women having their feet bound. It was a custom that controlled every woman’s lifestyle. Trying to find a husband for those whose feet were left unbound was virtually impossible.

I’d like to get back to Lynne Twist and The Soul of Money:

I have struggled to understand the tragedy of hunger. Hunger isn’t some mysterious disease…… We know what to do when a child is hungry. We know what a starving person needs. They need food…..

The world is awash in food. We currently have more food on earth than we need to feed everyone several times over. Waste abounds. In several countries……farmers are paid not to grow food….

I saw that the cause of chronic hunger wasn’t just the absence of food. What causes hunger and starvation is something more fundamental than that …..

When I considered the underlying beliefs held in common by almost everyone everywhere …… I saw that there were fundamental assumptions that disabled almost every effort to solve the problem….

When we believe that there is not enough, that resources are scarce, then we accept some will have what they need and some will not. We rationalise that someone is destined to end up with the short end of the stick.

When we believe that more is better, and equate having more with being more – more smart or more able – then people on the short end of the resource stick are assumed to be less smart, less able, even less valuable as human beings. We feel we have permission to discount them.

When we believe that’s just the way things are then we assume the posture of helplessness..…….. We accept that in our human family neither the resource rich members nor the resource poor members have enough money, enough food, or enough intelligence or resourcefulness to generate lasting solutions….

In every situation ….. uncovering the lie and the myths of scarcity has been the first and most powerful step in the transformation from helplessness and resignation to possibility and self reliance. 

How to Break Free From The Life Sentences That Limit Our Possibilities

It occurs to me that the first step is to be aware that our way of being, showing up in the world, is shaped by life sentences. The second step is to question: question the taken for granted beliefs, customs-practices, and assumptions. Third, choose to conform or not with your eyes wide open.

Here is something to consider especially if you live in a so called individualistic country. Are you ready? Whilst you are convinced that your are an individual and that you live in an individualistic society, consider that your culture has already determined what it is to be an individual. That is to say to be a true individual one needs to break free of the life sentence pronounced by your culture.  Stated bluntly, rare is the person who is truly an individual. Most individuals simply fit into the given mould of individual by their culture.

The Myth of Scarcity: That’s Just The Way It Is


Some time ago I started sharing some of that which spoke to me and showed up as worth sharing with you from Lynne Twist’s book: The Soul of Money. As it has been a little while since I last wrote, it may be worth revisiting the first two posts in this conversation:

The Myth of Scarcity: There’s Not Enough

The Myth of Scarcity: More Is Better

Ok, let’s listen to Lynne speak-share the third toxic myth that constitutes an important underpinning for the myth of scarcity. 

Toxic Myth 3: That’s Just The Way It Is

“….. that’s just the way it is, and there’s no way out. There’s not enough to go around, more is definitely better, and the people who have more are always people other than us. It’s not fair but we’d better play the game because that’s just the way it is and it’s hopeless, helpless, unequal, unfair world where you can never get out of this trap.

That’s just the way it is is just another myth, but it’s probably the one with the most grip, because you can always make a case for it. When something has always been a certain way,  and traditions, assumptions, or habits make it resistant to change then it seems logical …. that the way it is is the way it will stay. This is when the blindness, the numbness, the trance, and, underneath it all, the resignation of scarcity sets in. Resignation makes us feel hopeless, helpless, and cynical. Resignation also keeps us in line……. Resignation keeps us from questioning how much we’ll compromise ourselves or exploit others for the money available to us in a job, or career, a personal relationship or a business opportunity. 

That’s just the way it is justifies the greed, the prejudice and inaction that scarcity fosters in our relationship with money and the rest of the human race……

We say we feel bad about these and other inequities in the world, but the problems seem so deeply rooted as to be insurmountable and we resign ourselves to that’s just the way it is, declaring ourselves helpless to change things. In that resignation, we abandon our human potential, and the possibility of contributing to a thriving, equitable, healthy world……

We have to be willing to let go of that’s just the way it is, even if just for a moment, to consider the possibility that there isn’t a way it is or a way it isn’t. There’s the way we choose to act and what we choose to make or our circumstance.”

In my next post, I will continue this conversation and share with you how the possibilities open to us are shaped and closed off by the life sentences imposed on us – by our cultural practices and by us.

And finally

Before I end this conversation, I pose a question or two for us to consider:

  • granted that it is the way it is and it’s not the way it’s not, who/what caused it be the way it is and the way it’s not? 
  • has it always been the way it is and is no right now – across time, across cultures? And if it has not been as it is and is not right now, then who/what caused the shifts in the way that it is and is not?  
  • what would show up in my living, your living, our living if I/you showed up from the stand that “I have a say in the way that it is and is not, the way it will be and not be.”?

 

The Myth of Scarcity: More Is Better


Today, I am continuing on from the last post where I started this conversation on scarcity and shared Lynne Twist speaking as spoken in The Soul Money.

“Toxic Myth 2: More Is Better

The second toxic myth is that more is better. More of anything is better than what we have. It’s the logical response if you fear that there is not enough, but more is better drives a competitive culture of accumulation, acquisition and greed that only heightens fear and quickens the pace of the race……..

In truth, the rush for more distances us from experiencing the deeper value of what we acquire or already have.”

Let’s just consider food. When was the last time you and I actually were present with the food that we were eating? Did you an I really notice-appreciate the texture-taste of the food and the movement of the mouth and teeth? I have fasted for the last month. And I can say that during this month I appreciated ALL that I ate and drank. And that was so totally  different to my experience when I was eating and drinking whatever I wanted when I wanted it.

Let’s continue to listen to Lynne as she talks about the toxic myth of more is better:

“More is better distracts us from living more mindfully and richly with what we have.

More is better is a chase with no end and a race without winners…… no matter how far you go, or how fast, or how many other people you pass up, you can’t win. In the mindset of scarcity even too much is not enough……Some of the people with fortunes enough to last three lifetimes spend their days and nights worrying about losing money on the stock market, about being ripped off or conned or not having enough for their retirement.

The chase of more is better ……. saps our energy, erodes our opportunities for fulfilment. When we buy into the promise that more is better, we can never arrive. Wherever we are, it is never enough because more is always better. People who follow that credo…….which is all of us to some degree, are doomed to life that is never fulfilled.…

More is better misguides us in a deeper way. It leads us to define ourselves by our financial success and external achievements. We judge others based on what they have and how much they have, and miss the immeasurable inner gifts they bring to life……….In the pursuit of more we overlook the fullness and completeness that are already within us waiting to be discovered. 

The belief that we need to possess, and possess more than the other person or company or nation, is the driving force for much of the violence and war, corruption and exploitation on Earth.

The unquestioned, unchecked drive for more fuels an unsustainable economy, culture, and way of being that has failed us by blocking access to the deeper, more meaningful aspects of our lives and ourselves.”

In the next post, I will share with you Lynne’s third and final toxic myth. She says that this third myth is the one with most grip and it occurs to me that she is correct. Until then be great.

The Myth of Scarcity: There’s Not Enough


Today, I share with you passages from The Soul of Money, a book from Lynne Twist. Why? Because in it she discloses and deals with three particularly important myths that live us. That constrains the possibilities we see and limit our expression, way of being.  I invite you to listen freshly and deeply. Let’s begin.

What I have found is that no matter where we are in the political, economic, or financial spectrum, the myths and mindset of scarcity create an underlying fear …..

The mindset of scarcity is not something that we intentionally created …….. It was here before us .……. perpetuated in the myths and language of our money culture.

Scarcity is a lie, but it has been passed down as truth with a powerful that insists on itself, demands compliance, discourages doubt or questioning.

When we unpack the myth of scarcity, we find three central myths …..

Toxic Myth 1: There’s Not Enough

The first prevailing myth is that there’s not enough. There’s not enough to go around. Everyone can’t make it. Somebody’s going to be left out……..There’s not enough food…..money…..air….time…..money.

There’s not enough becomes the reason we do the work that brings us down or the reason we do things to each other that we are not proud of. There’s not enough generates a fear that drives us to make sure that we’re not the person……who gets crushed, marginalised, or left out.

Once we define our world as deficient, the total of our life energy, everything we think, everything we say, and everything we do…….becomes an expression of an effort to overcome this sense of lack and the fear of losing to others and being left out……

If there’s not enough for everyone, then taking care of yourself and your own, even at others’ expense, seems unfortunate, but unavoidable and somehow valid…….

The deficiency and fear reflect in the way that we conduct our lives and the systems and institutions we create to control access to any resource we perceive as valuable or limited. ….

In our own communities, we respond to the fear that there’s not enough by creating systems that favour us or exclude others from access to basic resources such as clean water, good schools, adequate health care, or safe housing.

And in our own families, there’s not enough drives us to buy more than we need……of somethings, to value, favour, or curry favour with people on the basis of their value to us in relation to money, rather than qualities of character.

I ask you to take a moment and really connect with Lynne’s speaking. How is the myth of scarcity and in particular, there’s not enough, constraining who you are being, the stand that you take, what you do or do not do, what you have or do not have?

I ask you to consider if ‘stuff’ is scarce or is it that we make it scarce?  I ask you to consider why many people in the USA cannot get adequate healthcare, yet people in France get great healthcare. I ask you to consider why it is that we let millions thirst, starve and die. Is it because we lack the means? Or is it that we simply take it for granted that there’s not enough for everyone? So it is perfectly logical, and OK, to let millions suffer and die.

I will share with you the second toxic myth in a follow up post. Until then I invite you to invite abundance into your being. I invite you to show up from the context of abundance. How about starting out with an abundance of listening, validation and connection. Just listen, really listen to the people that you encounter every day. Listen consciously from a context of curiosity, of wonder, of connecting with the other person. And through your unconditional listening simply validate that person just as he is and is not. If you do that I guarantee that you generate connection and let happiness into your life. I invite you to take me up on my guarantee.

And finally, Gautam, I hear you.

Awaken: It’s Never Too Soon!


Stop bullshitting!

Kathleen Taylor finishes here TEDx talk with the following exhortation:

Discover and express your amazing uniqueness in the world. Stop bullshitting

Why does Kathleen say this? Because she has learned from spending time working with-counselling the dying.

What can we learn from Kathleen?

Dying people teach us that it is never too late to shed what’s false and to become who we truly are.

Do you and I have to wait until our last days to live authentically?

But I’d like to hope that it is never too soon… So here is the challenge …. let’s don’t wait until we are at the end of our lives to find out who we really are.

Have your ever found yourself thinking about the purpose of your life? Wrong Question!

Have you every been confronted with this question: “What is my life about? What am I supposed to be doing with my life?” This question is one that I continue to grapple with. And this is what Kathleen has good news for me:

I think that is the wrong question.

I actually think the better question is “Who am I being with my life?”

What is the relationship between being and doing?

There is an intersect between doing and being. But, I’m pretty sure that being comes first.

And what you are supposed to be doing with your life will flow from who you truly are. You really can’t screw that up if you do it that way.

Why bother with living authentically? Why not just fit in and go with the flow?

Action, and creativity, and innovation that comes from true authenticity is what moves the world forward. And it has the lovely side effect …. of creating joy.

Awaken to the preciousness of time! be authentic, stop bullshitting

Living is the process of dying. Please read that again: living is the process of dying. This is what you and I are almost never present to. Yet, this is not true for those who are dying:

It ends up that some of the purpose of facing your mortality is to look back on the body of work of your life and develop a deep sense of self. And really, to finally awaken to the preciousness of time.

This brings us back to Kathleen’s exhortation:

Discover and express your amazing uniqueness in the world. Stop bullshitting

Here is Kathleen’s TEDx talk

By now you may be in a place where you actually want to see-hear-experience Kathleen’s TEDx talk. Here it is, enjoy!

An Invitation to Live On The Edge


I invite you to show up and operate from an uncommon context. Which context? Please take a look at the following, short, presentation from an ex-colleague of mine, Bruce Kasanoff.

I invite you to go one step further. I invite you to to live from the context “Help this person, with love”

Why have I added “with love” to Bruce’s “Help this person”.  Because there is a world of difference between helping this person with love, or helping without love.  This world of difference shows up both for the helper and the helped. I am not talking theory. I am share my lived experience.

I guarantee that if you show up and operate from the context “help this person, with love” your experience of your living will be transformed. And so will the nature, number, and quality of your relatedness and relationships.

Are you up for testing this out and taking me up on my guarantee?  Perhaps, you are up for joining me just because it speaks for you. Or it shows up as being a great way to live: a way that opens up adventure, invites relationship, and fun.

Finally, I invite you to consider that a new realm of possibilities open up for me, for you, for us, for the world of which we are an integral part, when you and I show up from “Help this person, with love”.

With Love or Without Love?


I want to share with you two distinctions ‘with love’ and ‘without love’.  Why am I sharing these distinctions? Because distinctions shed light on what is so and at the same time open doorways to new possibilities.

Today, it occurred to me that everything that you and I do, is done either ‘with love’ or ‘without love’.  And there is a profound difference between doing something ‘with love’ or ‘without love’.

When I listen, am I listening ‘with love’ or am I listening to you ‘without love’?

When I speak, am I speaking with love or without love?

When I write, am I writing with love or without love?

When I cook, am I cooking with love or without love?

When I serve the food that I have cooked, am I serving it with love or without love?

When I eat, am I eating with love or without love?

When I clean the house, am I cleaning with love or without love?

When I turn up to collect my children from school, am I turning up with love or without love?

When I help you with something, am I helping you with love or without love?

When I walk, am I walking with love or without love?

When I sit, am I sitting with love or without love?

When I sleep, am I sleeping with love or without love?

When I work, am I working with love or am I working without love?

It occurs to me that the default is ‘without love’.  It is so much the default that I don’t see that I act ‘without love’. My acting just shows up as acting: I do that which I do as I have always done it. And I think no more of it. I do what I do mindlessly. Yet, the person on the receiving end does notice whether the action was taken with love or without love. When I act with love the other tends to feel accepted-appreciated-loved and I also experience joy. When I act without love, the other is left feeling that s/he does not matter.

I invite you to imagine what your experience of living would be like if you listened with love, spoke with love, and took action with love. What would show up if you brought love to all that you do?

Today, I am inventing the possibility of listening-speaking-acting ‘with love’. I invite you to join me.

 

 

 

Powerful Sorcery Over Ourselves?


“You don’t need to be a sorcerer to cast a spell over yourself by saying, ‘This is how I am. I can do nothing about it.'”

– Alain, French philosopher

It occurs to me that Alain did not go far enough. The way to truly play small in life is to go one step further:

“You don’t need to be a sorcerer to cast a spell over yourself by saying, “This is how I am. This is how the world is. I can do nothing about it – myself and the world.'”

– Maz Iqbal

Never Forget


“Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person. ”
― Richard Buckminster Fuller